


I can’t do this anymore

by NessieKoizumi



Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Goodbyes, Light Angst, Love/Hate, M/M, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 01:16:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20845145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NessieKoizumi/pseuds/NessieKoizumi
Summary: The cry of help from Ugetsu as he wants to end the despair looming over him and Akihiko.





	I can’t do this anymore

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of #angstober on twitter tho I’m not so sure whether I’ll write everyday hence why I didn't make it as a collection. I hope you guys like it and thank you for reading !! I’m trying to improve on my writing skill and on my grammar. Have a great day guys !!

Looking down at the sleeping figure on his bed, Ugetsu gets up as quietly as he can to go for a smoke. It’s so cold , though Ugetsu doesn’t know whether the cold that he felt is from the weather or because of the action he did just for the sake of hurting Akihiko.

Akihiko was and always will be Ugetsu first love, the guy who had hugged him so tight as he had felt numerous piercing pierce him whenever he plays the violin. It wasn’t apparent at first, they continued on with their lives happily. It was all rainbows and bunny, they would have tons of fun. Waking up in each other's embrace, waking up and the first thing they’d see is each other’s faces, how he’d have fun teasing Akihiko as he brushes his teeth grumpily, how Akihiko would cook for them with a look of pure happiness on his face, even snuggling that is just a normal thing for a couple to do seem so special that Ugetsu can’t seem to stop hugging Akihiko’s back whenever they’d laid down side by side, talk about whatever’s going around and still their conversation won’t feel as if it is being forced but something sickening, some darkness is looming around. A realisation just hit Ugetsu , a realisation so harsh Ugetsu can’t seem to get rid of the thoughts. That the very existence of each other is what they both chased the most in the world. 

Ugetsu love music, love it dearly, love it before he had known Akihiko, love it to the point he wants to sacrifice everything, love it that he can’t move forward without music in his life, love it more than his Akihiko, love it enough to choose it over him. For what it is worth, they will just end up causing despairs for each other. Ugetsu will never be free from his music and for Akihiko, Ugetsu’s existence fundamentally meant suffering. 

And although no matter how much Ugetsu try to push him away, Akihiko still and won’t give up on Ugetsu even if it burns Akihiko with such self-loathe, self-doubt, how it made Akihiko so miserable but his love for Ugetsu, his love for the small body that once cling to him for dear life now just wants nothing but to push him away. Akihiko is now the one who’s hanging on to Ugetsu for dear life, how he’d still kiss Ugetsu even after that lips just clashes upon another, even if that body was just embraced by another, even when that body was squirming in pleasure for another. Even if despair is all that is left that bind them together, Akihiko will gladly welcome it with open arms as long as it meant, Ugetsu still stays with him.

“I’ve always been waiting for him to let me go.”

This is Ugetsu cry for help, Ugetsu just can’t do it anymore. For his love, for the one he cherished, for the one he treasured, for the one he wants nothing but the best, for the one who don’t deserve to feel that much despair, that much suffering they both had inflicted upon each other, for the Akihiko he loved, for the Akihiko who had hugged him when he was crumbling down, barely able to support the sadness inside, for the Akihiko he has to let go. For the Akihiko that he will continue on loving, but just from afar. 

“Aki, I can't do this anymore.”


End file.
